Mom Argues That Grandmothers Should Not Be Celebrated On Mother's Day — 'Why Do Boomers Make Everything About Themselves?'
Her argument drew sympathy, but a lot of mixed reactions too.
Yuganov Konstantin / Shutterstock Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate the important maternal figures in our lives and to show those we love that they matter.
Some people don’t think it should be extended to all those we love, though.
One mom said she doesn’t think grandmothers should be included as a part of Mother’s Day celebrations.
An anonymous mother posted to the Mommit subreddit on Reddit to share what she called a “rant” about how Mother’s Day is celebrated.
“Our parents have had 30 plus Mother’s and Father’s Days about themselves,” she said. “Now that we (their children) have children, they need to give up the holiday.”
She continued, “It’s completely unreasonable to expect moms of little ones to organize and celebrate both our own mothers and mother-in-laws, with nothing left for ourselves.”
This mom went on to explain her unique situation with her own mother and mother-in-law.
“For my husband and I [sic], each of our mothers expects their own day to celebrate (especially since they live a considerable distance from each other),” she said. “So if I spend Saturday celebrating one, and Sunday celebrating the other … where is my day?”
Because this mom is spending so much time celebrating her mother and mother-in-law, she feels like there is nothing left over for her. She has tried discussing this with them, to no avail.
“Why do these boomers make everything about themselves?” she asked. “Can we just all agree that they can have Grandparents’ Day (Sept. 8), and we get to have our own holiday now?”
Most commenters agreed with the mom or at least tried to give some advice.
Other Redditors seemed to agree with this mom and even those who didn’t agree tried to offer helpful advice.
“I love my mom and [mother-in-law] dearly, but I agree with this 100%,” one mom said. “Could I refuse to do it? Yes. But my mom and [mother-in-law] are very involved and helpful grandparents, and I just don’t have the heart.”
“I’m a [mother-in-law], and I agree!” said another. “It’s for the moms in the trenches.”
Still, others didn’t understand where this mom was coming from.
“Not cool that they expect you to organize something but I do think all moms should be celebrated,” another mom said. “Neither my mom or [mother-in-law] expect anything, but I will always take time to make them feel special, even if it’s just flowers or a card. My ‘me day’ is my birthday.”
“I know my mom won’t always be around, so I am glad to do something special for her on Mother’s Day,” another mom shared. “It doesn’t need to only be about me or her; it’s for all moms.”
There are ways to make splitting the holidays more equitable.
The Every Mom discussed multiple ways that holidays can be split fairly between multiple families and family members. They suggest communicating about the day as early as possible.
“To avoid confusion and disappointment, the earlier you can communicate your plans for the holidays, the better,” they said.
The Every Mom recommended alternating holidays between different family members so everyone feels seen. Perhaps this could mean switching off which years you spend Mother’s Day with each side of the family.
The Every Mom also said, “Now that you have your own family unit, let the relatives come to you.” This would give both a mother and mother-in-law the chance to celebrate Mother’s Day with their family.
It’s understandable that this mother is frustrated with her circumstances. However, it’s also important to remember that Mother’s Day is for all mothers — not just the ones with young children.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.